i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
