Cold hands, warm shart.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
