ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize