so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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