please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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