I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
