wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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