my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize