Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
