She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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