Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
