You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
