Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
