is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
