So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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