i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
