is your mom at the bar?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
