I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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