I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
