he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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