Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
They have beer where we have blood.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
