I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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