Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
