can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
