the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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