Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
