Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
