I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
