she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
how drunk are you?
Several
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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