Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
