Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
