the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
