But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My vagina just recognized that song.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize