new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
