I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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