i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
