didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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