I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he laminated a picture of his dick.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
