Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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