I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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