If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
