That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I have post one night stand depression
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize