i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
