wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
did i just pee glitter
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
