Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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