This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize