Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
