nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
How external is "for external use only"?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
