Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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