They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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