Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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