There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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