I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
