i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
