i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
