summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
