god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
