can u get pink eye on your cock?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I touched a dick in church today
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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