also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
