i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
