let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
