I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
