Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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