There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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