mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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