It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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