is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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