So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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