i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize