found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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